My goodness but it has been a while...  So much has happened in the months that turned into years since last I blogged.  The most profound change in my life has been the death of my beloved.  Steve fought the fight but lost his battle with colon cancer on December 19, 2014 at 9:24 pm.  The death of your spouse is so unlike any other death I have experienced.  Going through grief class we are reminded that everyone grieves differently and each relationship dynamic accounts for different experiences.  As I said one night in class, "When you are faced with impending death and are given time to prepare, you think you have-but...  Nothing fully prepares you for that moment and the eventual life you have to live without your loved one by your side."  Oh, yes-I go on.  You may even think I am doing well when you see me.  I make a point to find a reason to laugh and smile but the tears are never far from the surface.  In the beginning they came fast and furious.  They do not flow as freely now (9 + months hence) but they still flow.  Just today the Monument Company called to tell me they will deliver and set the headstone tomorrow.  That's all it took to open the flood gates.  I did manage to control myself as I am at work but I will have a good, cleansing cry later tonight.  And cries are good and cleansing.  Never let anyone tell you that you shouldn't cry after the death of someone so loved!!  If you feel the tears welling up, let them flow.  Then treat yourself; maybe to a cookie and cup of tea, slice of cake or pie, a scoop of ice cream perhaps.  Whatever you do; Use Your Good Dishes!!

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Matthew 5:4